this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
