It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
