lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
In the future we'll all be gay
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
