Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
