i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Rumble strips road head = magical
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
