She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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