I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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