so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
