Jerry, you need to find god
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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