Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
