Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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