so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
