Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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