she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
