craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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