White coat. Heels.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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