you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
