So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
