oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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