I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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