When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
