I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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