If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
