just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
