I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
