Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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