Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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