Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
