Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
