someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
