I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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