i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
