hotel room ftw
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
