fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
