There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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