just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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