Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Its about making memories worth repressing
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
