So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize