This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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