I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my shit smells like andre
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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