Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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