Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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