PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
