Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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