she looked like the before picture.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
