Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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