She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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