You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
