My brain says no but my pants say off.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize