we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
