I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
