hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
