My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
