thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
