So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
