Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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