Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
