Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
