If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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