Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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