Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
