Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
