she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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