She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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