Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
