I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
