Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
