My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize