I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
