areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
